Chapter One

I know this might sound bizarre, but I hate new things. Usually people get excited about new things. Maybe they’re sick of the old things. Maybe they find change interesting. But not me. I’m sick of change.
New might be good, but when you’re considering a new school, new life, and a new so-called “home”, you can get sick of new just as you can get sick of old.
Currently I’m living in my new house with my new guardian, Aunt Clara, who isn’t really my aunt, but is my aunt’s second-cousin’s step-sister. Her house is extremely small and cramped. Well, okay, maybe it’s not, but it only seems that way because of her 13 cats that shed all over the place. They already annoy me as I take my first step into the tiny house.
My Aunt Clara didn’t notice me as I walked in. She had a taxicab come pick me up from the O’Hare International Airport so it could drive me to her house. I had flown in from Sacramento, and I already hated Chicago. I mean, I didn’t like Sacramento, but I hoped Chicago would be an improvement.
Finally, Aunt Clara acknowledged my existence.
“Ah. You’re that girl,” were the first words out of her mouth. “I’ve already signed you up at the school. You start there tomorrow, just so ya know. Go on. Eat. Then go to bed, try not to bother me.”
Yes. What an improvement Chicago will be.
So I did what she told me to, that old hag. As I ate I just observed her behavior. First thing I noticed: her cooking. Soup. Cold. Actually, it wasn’t even soup. It was water with cut up pieces of carrots in it. How delicious.
Another thing I noticed what how she just sat on her lazy ass the whole evening, ate chips, watched TV until she finally fell asleep on the couch. Charming.
I decided to search for the house. I found a small room (the only one without a cat in it) where there was a bed in the corner near the window, and a desk on the other wall with a small lamp on it, which set off very dim light.
I pulled out my laptop out of my suitcase and plugged it in. It needed to charge before I could use it, because I kept using it on the plane, so it must’ve been out of batteries.
My bag was over stuffed, so I pulled out some more things. The first thing I noticed was that my mirror had one long crack on it. It must’ve broken during the flight. I took it out, and looked at myself. My skin and become pale, and my shoulder-length hair was the messiest it had ever been in months. My glasses were starting to slip off my face, so I pushed them up my nose until they were secure. They never fit my head correctly.
I checked my cell phone. It was only 8:53, but I felt really sleepy. I decided to go to bed because of school tomorrow. I promptly put my glasses on the desk, and slept as my laptop continued to charge.

I woke up at I woke up around 5:15 AM the next morning. I tried my best to fall back asleep, but decided just to get up anyway. I found my way to the bathroom, which had a litter box in it which made the whole room reek of cat poop. I brushed my teeth, and attempted to detangle my hair as much as I could before taking a shower, which was, by the way, ice cold.
I walked downstairs to see Aunt Clara still on the couch, fast asleep, chips packet in hand.
She obviously wasn’t going to feed me, so I decided to raid her kitchen by myself. I looked through the cupboards. Some Friskies, Meow Mix, and several other rows of different cat foods. It made me think that Aunt Clara didn’t eat any food at all, and fed her cats everything she had. But finally, I found something that proved she didn’t eat cat food: a cupboard full of chips. This did not surprise me.
I figured it would be best if I skipped breakfast, and decided to just go to school.
“Um, Aunt Clara, I’m going to leave. How do I get there?” I asked in my quiet voice.
“Just go, you’ll find you’re way,” she muttered, eyes sill closed.
I didn’t answer back, and walked outside of the house.
Normally, I wasn’t a very social person. I couldn’t small talk, long talk or any kind of talk with people I didn’t know very well. It was going to be tough to find out how to get to the school since I couldn’t even find enough courage in me to ask anyone.
But I knew I wouldn’t get to school any other way. So finally I found a girl. She looked like a freshmen, so I had the advantage of being two years older than her to look slightly intimidating, but she was on a bike, so I felt nervous for stopping her.
“Yeah, I go to there,” she answered when I asked. “You just go straight over there—” she pointed “—and then turn right, and keep going straight from there, and you should see it. It’s a pretty big school, hard to miss.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly, and she rode away.
I didn’t understand why she was in such a hurry. I took my merry time, and sauntered slowly, humming a song to myself, as I walked to school.
The office had given me a schedule, and I started to search for my first class.
It was a lot easier finding a class than finding the school. I was smart enough to find this out. I had Calculus first period. Math in the morning was nice, because it got your brain working bright and early.
My teacher, Mrs. Romander, was one of those teachers who had to introduce you to the whole class when you were the new student. It wasn’t as bad, though, because there were less people in the class.
“Everyone, I know it’s the beginning of the second semester, but we’ve got a new student with us. This is Paige Aarroh.” Surprisingly she said my last name correctly. Most people said it like “arrow.” “She’s new to the school, so let’s make her feel at home.”
Make me feel at home. I was about to say, “Sorry, but that will never happen,” but it didn’t seem like the best idea to be sarcastic in front of the teacher or the class.
The class was too easy for me. At my old school, it had been so much harder. I hated when things were too easy for me. I needed a challenge.
I went to Literature and Writing next. The teacher, Mr. Whitson, was also one of those teachers that had to announce the fact he had a new student to everyone in the world.
He forced me to sit near the back of the classroom next to this boy with a round face, messy red hair that was rather mop-ish, and eyes so green it stood out from his face more than any other feature.
“Hey,” he greeted me.
I merely smiled at him, and faced my attention to the teacher.
He assigned an essay to the class on a book they had just finished reading, Of Mice and Men. I talked to him after class about it, and he said he would give him an alternate assignment since I haven’t read the book with the class, but I assured him that I have read the book several times, and that I would be able to write an essay.
Unfortunately, it was brunch next. Usually people would be happy to have a break from classes and get a chance to hang out with their friends. But I didn’t have any friends.
At first I wanted to just aimlessly wander the campus, but that felt useless, so I decided to go to the library and read.
Reading was one of my passions. I loved it more than anything. Books never gave up on me. Books never abandoned me. Books never disappointed me. Books were always there for me.
In my life, I’ve always wanted to read all the books in one library. It didn’t matter which library, but I wanted to read all the books in one of them. This was hard to accomplish. Due to the fact I kept on moving everywhere, I never got the chance to stay near a library long enough to read all the books. Nonetheless, I always tried.
The first thing I decided to do when I entered the library was to choose a good book, sit down in one of the comfortable-looking seats, and just read it. I felt it best go to with a classic book (or a book that I thought to be classic): a Harry Potter book.
Fiction shelf. I found it almost right away. I decided I’d start with book three, since it was the shortest one that was on the shelf at that time.
There was a black chair nearby, so I sat down, and started to get comfortable as I started to flip through the story.
“Excuse me,” said a voice. I looked up, and my mouth almost dropped open, but I stopped myself. It was a guy, but not a normal guy. He was extremely hot; his chiseled features making him stand out from any other guy who had crossed my mind. His hair pitch black, extremely neat, and his caramel eyes had sparks of color, and sparks of something else I couldn’t physically see. He dressed a bit less casually than anyone else in the school, and held his coat over his shoulder with one finger. Very suave.
“Um, yes?” was all I could manage out. I was speechless in front of this guy.
“Yeah, that’s kind of where I always sit to read my books.”
He read, too. Wow.
“Oh, God, I am so sorry,” I said, panicky, quickly jumping out of the seat as if it had suddenly become extremely hot.
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He smiled, flashing his perfectly white teeth at me.
“I’ll just go somewhere else, then,” I said, my cheeks growing hot.
He nodded, and sat down in the seat.
I felt like I should have said something, but he had already pulled out a book and started to read, so I kept quiet and walked away to the other corner of the library to continue reading the book I had in my hand.
“Harry Potter, huh?” said a different voice.
I looked up from my book again. It was that boy who sat next to me in Lit/Writ. To be honest, I wasn’t in the least bit interested in what he was going to say to me. “Oh, you’re such a nerd,” I expected him to say. “Harry Potter is a kid’s book, why the hell are you reading it?” “You’re a nerd, get a life.” All the phrases people have said to me before when I read Harry Potter in public. It had always been a bad idea, but I never learned from my mistakes since I didn’t make them often.
“Yeah, Harry Potter,” I said a bit crossly.
He smiled. “That’s cool. I didn’t think anyone else in the school like Harry Potter. I’m a huge fan, but no one else is really.”
“Oh,” I said, slightly surprised. I imagined him to ridicule me. I didn’t think twice about it, and went back to my book.
He cleared his throat. “You’re Paige Arrow, right?” he asked.
“Aarroh,” I corrected him, straining on the “Aa.”
“Ah.”
“Yeah. Ah. Exactly.”
He laughed. I wasn’t trying to be funny, though. I really just wanted to read my book.
“You’re new, right?”
A bit frustrated, I put the book on my lap. I mean, I guess it wasn’t real frustration. I was just never used to people talking to me before. There was nothing wrong with the attention being on me. I actually liked it because it was so rare for me to have it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You know, if you just want to read, I’ll let you do that. I guess I’ll just see you around.”
He half got up out of his seat.
“Wait,” I said. I even surprised myself because I never really had talking skills with anyone. “Yeah, I’m new.”
He sat back down. “Where’d you come from?”
“Sacramento.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Kinda.”
“That’s a long way away. And what do you mean by ‘kinda’?”
“Well, it’s where I lived before for about six months, but it’s not really where I’m from.”
“Ah.”
Silence.
“I don’t really know where I’m from,” I finally said. “I mean, I’ve been going around to different guardians for so long now. I hate having no place I can call home. My dad left my mom when I was six, and she promptly committed suicide. I feel that they didn’t even think about me. Like, they just kind of abandoned me.”
“Oh,” was all he could say. I kind of liked his attention. There was no way I was going to get it from Aunt Clara.
“Yeah. It sucks. And all my guardians give up on me, too. That’s why I always have to move from place to place. Guardian to guardian. So-called homes to so-called homes.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“I’m sure you are.”
More silence.
The bell rang. He stood up.
“Oh, by the way, my name’s Damien. Damien Caster.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said, because it was nice to meet him. Nice to actually have a conversation with someone. Even if it was a little personal and I barely knew the guy.
My next period was world history. I didn’t want to take US history or anything because it was all about wars, and wars seemed both stupid and pointless to me. So I didn’t take that class.
That really hot guy who I saw in the library was in this class. My heart raced. From what I’ve seen of him, he pretty much seemed perfect. Then again, I didn’t know him.
He sat down in a seat in the front of the class. I was about to go talk to him. I was so blind, I didn’t even know his name. I started to walk when—
“Um, excuse me,” said a girl. She had accidentally bumped into me. Or I had bumped into her. Sometimes it makes a difference.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
“Yeah, you should be sorry. Oh, you’re the new kid!” she exclaimed. “I’ve heard rumors about you.” Rumors? About me? Was I even interesting enough to spread rumors about?
“I guess I’m the new kid,” I said.
“Yes, of course. I’m Chrissy White. I know: it’s an honor to meet me.”
“Sure, nice to meet you.”
She smiled. She turned her head, making her long, light blonde hair swish around, almost hitting me. “I saw you looking at him,” she said, nodding her head towards that boy who I thought was good looking.
I shrugged.
She smirked at me, and went to go sit next to him.
The class, like any other history class, was boring. So I went to my other class as quickly as I could. AP Chemistry sounded better than constant lecturing.
“Hi, Paige!” came a cheerful voice as I sat down in a random seat. It was Damien.
“Hello.”
He smiled at me, and sat down. I raised my eyebrow at him.
“Oh, is this seat taken?” he asked.
“No, not at all. I don’t even know anyone here yet. But do you mind if I ask you something?”
“You just did ask me something.”
I blinked.
“You were saying?” he said.
“Why do you talk to me?” I asked. “I mean, I’m not complaining or anything, I just find it a bit weird. Usually no one really wants to be my friend.”
He shrugged. “I’m not that popular, either. And, you know, you’re the new girl and all. I’m just trying to be friendly. If you don’t want me to, I don’t have a problem.”
“I said I wasn’t complaining. Thanks. It’s nice, I guess.”
Chemistry was just chemistry. It wasn’t the most fun class, but it was definitely better than cutting up animals in Biology. I was always against the dissection of animals, so I chose Chemistry.
After the bell rang, it was lunch. Instead of eating like a normal human, I wanted to go to the library and read.
But I was hungry. I didn’t eat any breakfast, and I didn’t bring any food with me, or any money to buy food.
“Crap,” I muttered to myself.
“What’s wrong?” Damien asked.
“I’m starved. No food. No money.”
“I’ll buy you something,” he said.
I looked at him, confused.
“I mean, you can pay me back whenever. I don’t mind.”
So we went. He took me to the cafeteria and bought me food. I don’t think anyone was this kind to me before. I liked it.
“Thanks a lot,” I told him.
“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I’m trying to be friendly.”
I smiled.
“So are you as clueless as any other new kid?” he asked me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“You don’t know anyone? Don’t know where anything is?”
“I never knew anyone,” I said. “And I’ve already memorized the map of the school, so I’m okay there.”
“Wow. Smart. But I can pretty much get you acquainted with everyone in the whole school in this one lunch period.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, not really introduce you, since I’m not that popular and not everyone in the school knows me. But I can tell you who’s who, and basic stuff like that.”
So he took me on a tour of the school. But instead of telling me all the classes, he pointed out all the people. The different sports teams, the cliques, the people to talk to and the people to stay away from.
We passed by Chrissy White, who was next to that guy I couldn’t stop looking at.
“Who is that?” I asked Damien.
“Hm? Oh him? That’s Alexander Carlson. Not Alex. He hates it when people call him that. He likes Alexander, he thinks he sounds more powerful with that name.”
Alexander. I was already swooning over his name.
“He’s pretty much the most popular guy on campus,” Damien continued. “Everyone likes him, I don’t think there’s anyone who hates him. I mean, I don’t particularly love him, but yeah.”
“Damn,” I muttered to myself. The most popular guy. He just had to be the most popular guy. He wouldn’t even know I existed.
“What?” Damien asked. He had obviously heard me.
“Nothing, I just think he’s really hot.”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
“Oh, right. I can tell you kinda don’t care.”
He smiled. “You got that right. And besides, everyone’s always over the Great.”
“The Great?” I asked.
“Yeah, Alexander’s nickname. He got it from Alexander the Great. And since he’s like, the coolest dude ever I guess, it just sorta stuck on him.”
It suited him. For what I know, he was the most amazing guy ever. Handsome. Smart. I wished I knew him better.
“Anyway,” Damien cut my fantasy short, “on with the people-tour.”
I didn’t really pay attention to anything else Damien said. I was too busy thinking about the Great. But I knew not to get my hopes up. I never did get my hopes up for anything.
By the time we had finished covering the school, lunch had finished. Thanks to Damien, I wouldn’t starve to death. I appreciated his kindness.
I took Drama as my elective. It seemed odd because I wasn’t exactly the person who would like to get up there and be in front of a lot of people, but I liked it when the attention was on me.
Thankfully, I didn’t take PE this time. I took it last semester at my old school in Sacramento, and failed it miserably. When you’re best mile time is 9:25, you know it’s best notto take PE again.
I noticed Damien in the parking lot. He was with a girl whom I didn’t know. I walked towards him.
“Paige!” he greeted. “Hey. This is Jessica Grace. She’s my girlfriend.”
Jessica’s warm brown eyes smiled at me, and I shook hands with her.
“Hey, Paige, you going home?”
“I’m going to my Aunt Clara’s house,” I answered. I didn’t like to refer to it as my home. It wasn’t my home. It was where I lived, but it wasn’t my home.
“Walking?”
“I don’t have a car.”
“Need a ride? I’m dropping off Jessica, too.”
“It’s okay, I don’t want to be a bother.”
“It’s no bother, Paige,” Jessica answered. “Damien’s sweet. You can get in the car.”
I didn’t argue. He was being nice to me, but as I sat in the back seat, I barely existed to them anymore. They were like any other couple. All lovey-dovey with each other. Not only did I feel left out, but it also kind of made me sick to listen to. Finally we arrived at Jessica’s house, and she got out of the car.
“Bye, Jess,” Damien said, kissing her on the cheek.
“See you tomorrow, love!”
She shut the door.
“She seems nice,” I said.
Damien turned around. “She is. She’s amazing. So where do you live?”
I guided him through the roads and we found Aunt Clara’s house. I got out of the car, thanked Damien, and he drove away.
Before I knew it, I was in my bed. Sitting with my laptop. I wasn’t exactly doing anything. Just surfing the web. YouTube, Facebook, things like that. I didn’t really know anyone through these websites, but I found it amusing to look through anyway.
I went down and searched through the cupboards for food again. Aunt Clara was still on the couch. I highly doubted that she even got up today. I scavenged for food. It was surprising to see that in the entire kitchen there was nothing except for cat food and junk food. Actually, it wasn’t that surprising. I skipped dinner.
I went back onto my laptop. I didn’t feel like doing any homework. But eventually, I was on too long and lost track of time. My clock said 10:08, but it was always ten minutes fast, so I knew the actual time was 9:58. I decided to start my homework.
It was normal for me to start my homework late. I didn’t take too much time doing it, so for me it just didn’t matter. I finished by around 11.
After I finished, I found it best to try to fall asleep. But I didn’t fall asleep. I was just lying there, staring at the ceiling. I hated this place already. Just once, I wanted to go home. Wherever that is.